We were able to meet in the middle of our burgeoning language abilities and not only communicate, but also have a lot of fun.
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Of course there were mistakes, misunderstandings, awkward silences, and the occasional appeal to Google Translate ; but in the end, it all made for great language practice and an enjoyable evening. It made me realize that dating in a foreign language, even though it can seem scary, is a great way to practice and learn a language.
In fact, it might be one of the funnest and most enjoyable ways to increase your language skills.
Motivation is often a struggle for language learners. In the beginning, a new language is exciting as you progress quickly through the basics. After a while however you hit your first plateau. The language that once seemed so alluring now seems at best tedious or at worst insanely difficult.
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This is for two reasons. Second, the affection and care you have for your partner will carry over into the language you use to communicate with them. Dating at its core is a conversation exchange. On the relational side if your partner is learning your native language as you learn his or hers it can really spice your dating activities.
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Even the most run of the mill dating conversation questions will be exciting for both of you if they are spoken in your respective target languages. If a new romantic relationship can be a boon to your motivation, then the absence of one can also hinder it.
Using the language might even hurt for a time as it will remind you of someone you loved and lost. While dating in a foreign language will feel exciting in the initial phases of dating, as the relationship progresses the language barrier can add extra strain. You could find yourself wanting to express deeper and more nuanced feelings than you are able to with your language level.
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There is also the danger of miscommunication. Communication can be a challenge in any relationship. Misunderstandings and miscommunications happen even when partners share the same native language. When you throw a foreign language in the mix it can add another layer of difficulty and increase the potential for misinterpretations. Research has found that people's attitudes about long-distance relationships and their contentment with their own situation play an important role in determining the success of a long-distance relationship.
One of the most important aspects of a long-distance relationship is communication. Traditional forms of communication rely heavily on nonverbal language, such as body language, facial expressions and tone of voice.
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In a long-distance relationship, these additional forms of communication are often missing, making it very important to communicate effectively and clearly. Always try to say what you mean, and mean what you say. Take advantage of the technology available for making communication in long-distance relationships easier.
Using programs such as Skype or Facetime will allow you to communicate face to face with your partner, regardless of where each of you are in the world. Knowing the latest trends in technology and being capable of making use of them will help considerably in making you and your partner feel closer. Be creative in how you spend your time together.
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Even though you are separated by borders and possibly even oceans, this doesn't mean that you cannot still participate in "traditional" couple activities. You can still do activities together, such as grocery shopping while talking on the phone or watching the same movie while communicating via Skype or chat. Be creative in doing the things you would normally do for your partner if you were together, such as gift giving: Manage being in different time zones by creating a consistent schedule for communication.
If you set aside a specific time of day to talk or chat, this will help you feel connected with your partner. Social psychologist and Columbia Business School professor Adam Galinsky has been studying the link between creativity and experiencing foreign cultures for around a decade, he explained.
For his first study, which was based on his hunch that immersion in foreign culture and creativity were linked, he asked a class of MBA students to answer questions on their experiences living and traveling abroad; then, they each solved a creativity problem. His next major study looked at leading fashion houses around the world, over the course of 21 seasons, and the relationship between the most creative lines—as defined by the French trade magazine Journal du Textile —and the amount of time that the respective creative directors had spent living abroad.
The most important predictor of creative thinking, he explained, was the depth of their experience abroad. The most recent study, which was conducted by Galinsky and five other researchers, took these ideas a step further by seeking to prove that the experience of dating someone from another country, over time, causes enhanced creativity.
In the first experiment, researchers tracked students enrolled in a month international MBA program. At the beginning and the end of the program, participants were asked to take a creativity test with three different tasks used for measuring convergent and divergent thinking , assets that are widely associated with creativity.